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Thursday, January 10, 2008

IMPOSTOR SYNDROME

I mentioned this a post yesterday, but I want to say some more. I think this is the single worst culprit in the business world. Heck, in any world.

I certainly know what it feels like, just like my cat. You don't belong. You don't have organically-grown catnip and an ionized air filter by your litterbox. Your cat litter's not imported Indonesian diatomaceous earth. You don't even have a litterbox! You have to do your business behind trees and shrubs. You don't get high-quality, mercury-free tunafish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You dumpster dive. You eat scraps and carrion and if you're lucky a squirrel.

And it affects you. You think differently, about the world around you, and even about yourself. You avoid those preening cats with shampooed coats and aromatic flea collars. When opportunity knocks, you're the only one home, but you figure she's not looking for you. You tell yourself that your kind of cat isn't invited. Rich cats, fat cats, sure. They get all the breaks! If you only had a break. Well, the break just walked away weeping because you convinced yourself not to open up to it!

You run up the tree and wait for a fireman who never comes. And the little old lady cries and cries below, but you can't tell her you love her. YOUR KIND OF PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT! No love, no hope. Only sorrow, fleas, and coccidiosis.
See what happens? You convince yourself you're not good enough. You look at people you envy-- rich people, successful people, people who got all the breaks-- and you resent them. You tell yourself they're scumbags for having what you want. And you say life is unfair, and then decide you can't get what they have. Why not? Because you don't want to resent yourself? What IS that?

Well, life is unfair sometimes. But other times it is fair. Don't let the unfair rob you of the fair.

How do you do this? Maybe tomorrow...

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